'Sew' Spoiled!

Let me just start this post by saying: my husband rocks!  For my birthday, (which was actually about six weeks ago, but the summer has gotten away from me) he spoiled me rotten by making me a sewing/craft table.  Not just any ho-hum little table.  A real project table like I have been coveting from Pottery Barn  and some of other lovely DIY blogs and websites that I stalk.  I have been dreaming of using my fabric stash for sewing and quilting projects for some time now.  Unfortunately, the reality of having to set everything up each time I get a creative moment and spending hours with an aching back from bending over a folding table left me doing a whole lot of dreaming and not quite as much doing. 

I found several tutorials online using a hollow door and two cheap bookshelves.  That didn't seem too hard.  So my wonderful husband agreed to put one together for my birthday.  He figured it wouldn't take more than a weekend right?  :) 

Before:
We have a large guest room downstairs that never gets used, so it has become the craft room.  Have no fear friends and family, we still have plenty of room for you if you come to visit! 

During:
We already had one Closet Maid cubeical, so we decided to just get a second one to use for the base.  I picked out a lovely shade of cream called 'artist canvas' (Behr paint) and we were good to go.  I'm sure my husband would have preferred for me to opt for plain white paint and white shelves (or go for a two-tone table as our original cubeical was dark).  But, I could picture it in my mind already, and 'artist canvas' was going to go on all of it.  Sorry dear.  Needless to say it took more than a weekend.  ;)

Here is the table top in painting progress (and the original color of our cube storage).

And here is the finished product:

We added wainscoting to the back for more stability (and because it just looks better).  The original cubes came with impractical pieces of cardboard that don't even cover the whole back.  It took a lot (a LOT!) of sanding and priming time to get the paint to adhere to the cubeicals.  Not a huge surprise being that we were working with the fake stuff, but something to be aware of if you ever try something similar.

It is a counter height table, which saves my back from having to hunch over my cutting mat every time I need to cut out a new project.  I'm now on the lookout for some bar height chairs so the kids and I can do other projects together here.  I'm still working on filling all those cubes with my sewing and craft items.  I certainly have plenty to fill it with, but I'm trying to find creative ways to organize it all.

I really need to give a big THANK YOU to my husband for this amazing gift.  I would normally have done a lot of the painting on a project like this since my husband hates - and I mean HATES - to paint!  But I was on  'light duty' at the time due to doctor's orders so he graciously sacrificed several weekends to get this done for me.  I feel so blessed...and maybe a little spoiled too! 

I'll be posting about baby again soon, so follow my blog to stay tuned.  Just a couple more weeks until we know if we're having a boy or a girl!

Baby Update

I thought I'd post a quick baby update for friends & family who are interested.  I had my first appointment with the doctor and my second ultrasound on Tuesday.  What a relief it is to see a little heart beating and such amazing growth from just a few weeks ago.  Little arm and leg buds and a sweet little human form (no more tail).  A hemorrhage issue that they caught early on is beginning to resolve itself.  The CNP was reasonably helpful and willing to work with me so that I can get necessary care, but not have to pay for tests I felt were unnecessary.  Actually, we had a lot of compromising to do, and she is probably  hoping that I see another provider next time since I can be a bit 'doctor defiant'.  Still, it was an informative appointment.

This weekend I have reached the ten week mark in my pregnancy.  Technically it isn't too significant in any medical or developmental terms.  Yet it feels like a milestone of sorts to me.  I've made it a quarter of the way through my pregnancy.  I'm half-way to knowing whether we will be shopping for pink or blue.  I've gotten to see my baby twice so far, and while the second time was to check on a potential complication, I have such peace knowing I was able to see my precious little one healthy and growing in my womb.  I feel truly blessed. 

Great Expectations

It has been forever since I even looked at my blog.  We've had some new developments in our family though, so I thought it was a good time to clear out the cobwebs and give an update.

As some of you may know, Bill & I have had adoption on our mind for quite some time.  We have started and stopped and started again.  It has been a very bumpy journey to say the least.  We found a great agency here in Minnesota and applied to the South Korea program where we were excited to be approved and move fairly easily through the program.  I thought "Finally, this is where we are supposed to be and the timing is right."  Our homestudy was approved about a week and a half ago and it seemed that all we had to do was wait and enjoy the excitement of anticipating a referral.  Except that I was having trouble with the excitement part.  I couldn't shake the feeling that something felt a little 'off', or missing, or.....late.

So early the next morning I took a test and two little pink lines confirmed what my body had already been telling me.  A blood-test with off the chart numbers and an ultrasound with a quick, strong little heartbeat chased away any doubt that was remaining.  To say that we are overwhelmed and confused would be the understatement of the year.  And, yes, of course, we are excited too!

Our adoption at this time is on hold.  I don't know when and if we'll go back to it.  We have dreamed of adopting for as long as we've dreamed of having children.  It was never an 'either/or' decision, or something we decided on as a second choice.  It was and still is something very dear to our hearts.  But I must admit that we have had an insane number of roadblocks every time we move in that direction.  I have no idea if God will make adoption part of our family story in the future.  No matter what direction He leads, I know it will be right for our family.

In the meantime, we have a new little one to look forward to and lots of planning ahead.  Not to mention the first trimester to get through in one piece!  Homeschooling through all-day sickness and exhaustion have left me pining away for summer like never before.  I'm only about 7 1/2 weeks along and my due date is December 29.  We are praying we do not have a Christmas baby, in part because the logistics for that could get pretty difficult without any family around (and let's face it, who wouldn't rather be home at Christmas instead of a hospital!).  Again it's one of those things we have no control over in life, so we will wait and see.

We'd love your prayers for the baby and pregnancy to be very healthy.  I had some complications previously that could be an issue again, and I know that statistically being 35 this year only raises some of my risks.  We hesitated to spread the news too early, but ultimately decided that the love and support of family and friends is what we need, whether things are perfect or not.  Also: our kids know.  And if you talk to them for more than five minutes, you're bound to find out!  :)

I'll be keeping more frequent updates on our family adventures and pregnancy on my blog.  We have to have another ultrasound in a couple of weeks, so I'll be sure to share about that as well.  Thanks for checking in!

cozy mornings

It has been one long week.  One of those weeks that feels like a month.  I'm not entirely certain what made it feel so long and dreary, I just know that it seemed endless!  Today started no less gray than the mornings before it.  The grumbling, whining, aching, and sleepiness that had been with us all week showed no signs of leaving.  And then my 5-year-old came to me (after a very early morning timeout) with a pencil drawn picture of a broken heart and a slightly overly dramatic sad face.  And despite the obvious dramatics, I had to admit that I felt the same way.  We had all allowed our grumpiness to get the best of us instead of giving the best of us to each other. 

So I decided to change the atmosphere in our home this morning.  I stopped what I was doing and the three of us snuggled on the couch and turned on our gas fireplace to take the literal and figurative chill out of the air.  We listened to a silly story created by my 8-year-old about a lake monster.  We ate toast and tea with the scent of a fall candle burning.  We listened to a piano play comforting Christmas melodies (via itunes - we don't have that talent ourselves - yet.  And yes, I am aware it is only September!).

Simple, purposeful and loving.  Who knew that such seemingly insignficant changes could so quickly change the tone of our home?  We are now ready to end our week.  Together. 

Family Traditions

Feeling blessed tonight as I celebrate Friday.  That's right: nothing special other than that it is Friday and our family celebrates like it is the fourth of July.  Every (or, most) Friday night we make gluten-free pizza from scratch, put on fun music (Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, Harry Connick Jr, etc.: which my children affectionately refer to as pizza music), my husband and I pop open a bottle of wine and dance around the kitchen being silly and making memories.  It is the kind of tradition that, as a kid, I would have thought only existed in old time, idealistic movies.  My sweet boys get excited when Friday comes around knowing it is time to relax and be goofy and feel loved.  No matter how crazy or stressful our week has been, Fridays bring us back to a place on unity and peace.  My husband and I were dancing in the kitchen after pizza tonight (not a side of us we share often outside our little home); watching my children laugh and swinging on their playset outside, I realized just how greatly God has blessed my life.  Since moving 9 months ago, both my boys have expressed how much they love living here (in Minnesota).  When pressed for 'why' they love it here we hear the same thing from both: the little traditions started, real family time, and  the refocus of our lives from Army-centered to HOME-centered.  The simple things like pizza on Friday really do make a difference to our children.  Tonight at dinner my 5-year-old sighed a smiling sigh and said, "I feel comfy. Every Friday I just feel so comfy."  It brought a tear to my eye:  I couldn't ask for anything better than that for my children: to feel 'comfy' with who they are within our family. 

Life is good.  I'm comfy. 

Are your children 'comfy' in your family too?

Sun-dried Tomato & Basil Pesto - Yum!

I have lots of ideas swimming in my head for blog posts, but I haven't set aside regular time to put my thoughts into words.  I wanted to take a few moments today though, as this is one recipe I've been anxious to share!  Several weeks ago, I decided I needed to harvest my basil-turned-giant-beanstalk-plant and figure out a way to turn it into something spectacular for dinner.  I love, love, love the idea of walking outside and picking fresh ingredients to feed my family.  Perhaps we are destined for a 'farm' someday but, for now, I am just excited that I haven't killed anything growing in the clay pots on our deck! 

I searched my collection of cookbooks and a number of Internet sites, and couldn't find a recipe that would work with what I had on hand, so I combined a few ideas, experimented with ingredient portions and turned out a delicious dinner that even my kids gobbled up!

Here is my take on Sun-dried Tomato Basil Pesto:

1 1/2 cup firmly packed fresh basil leaves
8.5 oz. sun-dried tomatoes in oil
2/3 cup olive oil
2/3 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
4 garlic cloves, minced
2TB pine nuts (+more to toast for garnish)
salt & pepper to taste

In a food processor, combine all of the ingredients.  Blend until smooth, stopping to scrape down the sides as necessary.  I added most of the olive oil in the beginning and then gradually add more to make it the right consistency and flavor.  Serve over your favorite pasta with toasted pine nuts & parmesan cheese.

 It yielded about 1 3/4 cups, which I was able to divide in half and use for two meals.  The pesto froze in small containers very well.  After filling each, I topped them with a slim layer of olive oil to keep ice from forming right on the pesto (it is easy to take the extra oil out when you defrost it).  I later read several tips on freezing pesto which stated you should not freeze pesto that already has the cheese mixed in, for quality reasons.  Being that I read that after I made it, I froze it anyways, and still had delicious results!  Bon Appetit!

Green Pastures in the Desert

Have you ever felt like everything surrounding you is dry?  Not literally, mind you, but spiritually,  mentally and emotionally?  The spring that seemed quench your weariness for a season of life has slowed to but a trickle, and even while you are thankful for what little you still have, there is a constant fear that it is not enough and it, too, will dry up.  I am in such a desert.  Our family moved to a rural town in Minnesota in the middle of a December blizzard.  I found myself full of conflicting doubts and hopes about the new life in which we were embarking.  We left sunny Colorado Springs and our friends, mentors, homeschool co-op and the military life behind us in order to give our family a chance for a better life and childhood for our precious little ones.  We dreamed of a life without deployments, constant moves, and the infuriating indecision by people who control your life, but don't live it.  I'm not sure if we've found what we're looking for yet. 

Small town Minnesota isn't exactly what we had planned when we dreamed of civilian stability.  I try to remind myself that we had remained in the military in Colorado, the boys and I would be there alone.  My husband would be serving his second tour of duty in Iraq and I'd be a temporarily single mommy again.  And yet I can't help but wish for the 'old days'.  I had connections with other women there; but here I find none.  I had amazing homeschool support & activities there; but here I come up at a loss.  My children felt a belonging there; but here it seems that not even one of us 'fits'. 

Over the last week I've come across Psalm 25 a number of times, and so I've read it several times over the last few days.  It starts "O Lord, I give my life to you.  I trust in you, my God....."  I can't help but think in reading that passage how much am I trusting God if I allow myself to be paralyzed by fear? 

Another verse I came across is Psalm 32:8 "The Lord says, I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you."  I want with all of my being to believe that He has put me on His best road, but then I doubt every step that I take. 

Then I read a devotional in my Bible, which included excerpt by Hannah Whitall Smith (from The God of All Comfort): "You need not be afraid to follow Him whithersoever He leads, for He always leads His sheep into green pastures and beside still waters.  No matter though you may seem to yourself to be in the very midst of a desert, with nothing green about you inwardly or outwardly and you may think you have to make a long journey before you can get into any green pastures, the good Shepherd will turn the very place where you are into green pastures;  for He has power to make the desert rejoice and blossom as the rose; and He has promised that "instead of the thorn shall come up the fir-tree, and instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle tree";  and "in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert."

We have been waiting individually and as a family to be led into the 'green pastures and beside still waters.'  I had my own thoughts and ideas that after our (brief) stay here in Minnesota, God would lead us on and then we'd really be in the greenest, most stable part of our lives.  Then I will finally just be able to breathe.  But I read that passage and realize that maybe this is what God has planned for us.  My mind is still trying to grasp the idea that this desert I am in could 'blossom as the rose'.  I'll be honest - I don't see it.  The stubborn dreamer in me won't let go of my own mind's picture of the life I so desire to live.  But another small part of my heart is intrigued and I wonder at the possibilities that the creator of the heavens and earth could work in and through my life.  Yet they are possibilities that can only be created if I give up my life and fear (and that stubborn streak) and trust Him.